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Guest Blog: Sarah Pitre is already excited for STEP UP 3D

Sarah Pitre is, among other things, our host for Girlie Night screenings at the Ritz, where she programs and introduces all sorts of classic Slumber Party movies (including this coming Tuesday's BIG). But she's also always on the look out for future Slumber Party classics, and she's well aware that no genre is more worthy than the often overlooked Dance Movie.

Sarah runs a blog over at PoshDeluxe.com and when we saw her recent post on STEP UP 3D we asked if we could post it here too to really help spread the love:

as all of you hopefully know by now, the trailer i've been waiting for since, like, a year ago (that is like FOREVER in posh years), is finally out!!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT, I'M TALKING ABOUT STEP UP 3D!! YES YES Y'ALL!!

let us take a moment to watch it together and bask in the glory of the dancing (and glowing! what!) pants:



"PEOPLE DANCE BECAUSE DANCE CAN CHANGE THINGS!" and also because IT LOOKS AWESOME. ESP. IN 3D!!!!!

after viewing the trailer approximately 20 times, my excitement has finally subsided to a squeeing simmer, meaning i will refrain from capitalizing everything in this post. more importantly, it means that i've done the necessary research to scientifically analyze the trailer to answer two questions that have been haunting me for months:

1. will step up 3D be amazing?

2. will step up 3D be as amazing as step up 2 the streets?

after intense scrutiny and the utilization of complex calculations, i present to you the results of my analysis, organized by various categories. and in case you need a refresher (i.e. in case you haven't watched this movie 120 times like me), here's the trailer for step up 2 the streets:



LET US BEGIN WITH THE SCIENCE!

CHARACTERS

HEROINE

step up 2 the streets (hereby shortened to SU2) featured the lovely and hella sassy andie:



andie wasn't the greatest actress in the world, but um, hello, THIS IS A DANCE MOVIE YOU GUYS. it's not about facial expressions, it's about full body expressions, and andie's dancing is TIGHT.

step up 3D (SU3) also features a prominent female character, natalie, but based on the trailer, i'm sorry to say that she's... not super pretty.



don't get me wrong, she's cute, and i'm sure i'll like her, but on a purely superficial level, that's minus one point from SU3 in attractiveness.

but it's not just about the face! in step up movies, it's also about THE ABS.

andie's are TOTES FIERCE:



fortunately for SU3, natalie is equally as ripped:



and finally, the official step up deal breaker: can the new girl do the awesome bootie dance like andie?



trailer says... YES!



natalie's definitely got the moves, which is v. reassuring, but i find it hard to believe that she'll never replace andie in terms of awesomeness.

HERO

in SU2, we got to know chase, a super fine, ultra charming, slightly a-hole-y (but he gets nicer!) dancer with killer dancing skills:



the SU3 trailer introduces us to cable, who is cheesy and gimmicky enough to justify that name:



as a scientist, i have to be honest with you guys. i already totally hate this guy. WHICH MAKES ME SO SAD! because there are two reasons why the step up series is awesome: the dancing and the romance. how can i buy into the romance when the lead actor is like straight out of an axe commercial?!

and don't think i'll be easily swayed by, say, pictures of him topless!



i mean, yes, dang, that is some nice physique but STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME, TRAILER! cos you know who else is totally buff?



i think i've made my point.

(sorry, i i had to insert that picture for academic purposes. if you need take a break to clean yr eyes with bleach, go ahead).

fortunately, SU3 has fail-safe: MOOSE!!!



oh moose THANK GOD IT'S YOU!!!!! it's so good to see yr face!!! even if it looks a little... puffier than it used to?



then again, you were probably, like, 15 in SU2 so let's just chalk it up to puberty. and really, who cares! you're still adorable! and presumably you can still dance up a shizz storm! let's just hope you're in more scenes than axe mcdouchebag up there.

i also feel the need to bring up channing tatum, mainly because he is so adorable and totes hot:



but ok also because he briefly appears in SU2. but i can't really penalize SU3 for not getting him to return, cos a) he's seriously only in SU2 for like two minutes b) he was in a nicholas sparks movie so that makes him less desirable in high demand as an actor.

THE CREW

in addition to the main characters, SU2 featured some quirky, extremely talented dancers who made up chase and andie's crew. i LOVED the montage where we got to see why they were all "outcasts," and it makes me re-fall in love with them every time (you know i'm a sucker for a good montage).



it's tough to tell from the SU3 trailer whether or not there will be a consistent back-up crew, but i'm already dying to get to know this individual:



he's like a cross between kanye and the fresh prince. HOLLA!

ADULTS

there's not really a lot of prominent adults in the step up series. however, since SU2 takes place at a school, there had to be that one demanding teacher that was really hard on the students but only because he believed in them and knew how hard it was to make it in the professional world of dance and then they got to show him the error of his ways during the finale. the only thing not awesome about that storyline? THIS GUY:



look, dude, i don't care who you are/were in the ballet world, but this isn't "center stage" ok?! would it kill you to move yr face once in a while? UGH. so it was with great relief that i noticed there is not ONE SINGLE AUTHORITY FIGURE in the entire SU3 trailer. score!

CONCLUSION: SU2 has two hot and charming leads, an adorable supporting cast and one really irritating teacher. SU3 features a strong female lead, a potentially fun supporting cast and no authority figures, BUT the hero is basically mark mcgrath. WINNER: STEP UP 2.

THE STAKES

in SU2, the stakes were pretty high. not only did andie have to succeed in school to avoid moving to texas (TEXAS?! GAH!!!), but her whole crew was dance-fighting for respect-- both at the school AND on the streets. in SU3, it looks like the stakes get a little higher cos... wait, check this flier! it's the WORLD JAM DANCE BATTLE!!!! holy shizz!!!!!!



CONCLUSION: the stakes in SU2 may be a little more personal, but hello, the dancers in SU3 are competing for respect INTERNATIONALLY. y'all, there's gonna be houses from italy AND japan there! WINNER: STEP UP 3D.

THE DANCING

with all of that said, you and i are both educated people, and we know that what matters the most in these movies is, of course, the dancing.

in SU2, obvs there was badass dancing all over the place!



and it looks like SU3 is definitely not slacking in this department:



but, as jon chu made clear in SU2, it's not just plain old dancing. you gotta get all fancy pants and add in as much cray cray as possible! for example: perform the finale dance... IN THE RAIN.



but SU3 ain't no amateur! it's got water too!



but does it have... TRAMPOLINES?



no.

subway pranks?



um, nope.

BUT... it DOES have...

A WALL OF BOOMBOXES!



A MASQUERADE BALL WHAT!!!!!!!!!! seriously, who doesn't love a good masquerade ball? they're always full of INTRIGUE! and SECRETS!



and hey, are those light-up shoes?!! (dear santa: i can tell you right now, henri's gonna want these):



and HOLY PANTS THERE ARE LIGHT UP SUITS!!!!!!!!!



it's like tron all up in here!

but the biggest bonus dance factor is, of course, the fact that the next step up movie is... 3D!!!!!



oh man we are gonna get kicked in the face so much!!! and also sprinkled with mountain dew, apparently.

CONCLUSION: there is some incredible dancing in SU2, but it looks like SU3 is gonna take it to a new, jaw-dropping level. WINNER: STEP UP 3D!

now that i've reached these pivotal conclusions, i will now return to my initial questions.

1. will step up 3D be amazing?

my scientific conclusion: YOU BET YR PANTS!!!!!

2. will step up 3D be as amazing as step up 2 the streets?

my scientific conclusion: maybe? at this point, i'm leaning towards no, but that's mainly due to my distaste for axe mcdouche and my lack of enthusiasm about natalie. it's entirely possible that when i see the entire film, it will blow my pants off with its dancing amazingess (and HUGE WALL OF BOOMBOXES). so i guess my analysis will not be finalized until the movie comes out on august 6th.

further scientific conclusion: august 6th is really, really far away, you guys.

News Categories: General News, Austin

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