Video Hate Squad: ELVES

Silly Nazis! Don’t you know that if you use black magic to conjure up evil elves on Christmas Eve to usher in the new master race, you better make sure that the local department store Santa Claus isn’t on hand to clean house? ELVES made its unceremonious debut on the already-dusty video shelves of the late ‘80s, riding the crashing wave of straight-to-VHS action/horror trash with supreme skill. Dan “Grizzly Adams” Haggerty is the alcoholic Vietnam vet Santa saddled with the responsibility of saving the human race from naked, malformed, perverted elf creatures summoned by Hitler’s ancient surviving homies. These nauseating, animalistic beasts look like skinned muppets, sneak peeks at middle-aged ladies in bubble baths and take every opportunity to tear out the nearest throat. Join us for this scum-blazing, never-on-DVD Christmas maelstrom of black magic, white power, and unanticipated incestuous cheer! (Zack)