Terror Tuesday

THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION

Director Bill Rebane
Year 1975
Starring Alan Hale Jr., Steve Brodie, Barbara Hale
Rating PG
Run Time 84min
More Info IMDb

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Filmed in the alternate universe known as Wisconsin, this is the only movie in history that stars a Volkswagen Bug as a giant spider. When a town is besieged by extraterrestrial arachnids that breed inside of diamonds, it's up to a nebbish from NASA, a redneck Conan O'Brien look-alike, an old lady, and Alan Hale (the Skipper from GILLIGAN'S ISLAND) to Get To The Bottom Of Things. And do they ever. Ultra-low-budget spider attacks mix it up with goopy gore, soap opera sleaze, and a minimalist synth soundtrack to forge a triumph of surreal fun. THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION feels like it escaped from an inter-dimensional netherworld of a 1970s Fantastic Four comic book, if the Fantastic Four were drunk treasure hunters instead of super heroes. Director Bill Rebane would go on to make BLOOD HARVEST starring 1960s casualty Tiny Tim as a psychotic clown. That's a great movie, but it doesn't have lines like: "Sometimes, the only way I know you're alive is when you flush the toilet!" (Joseph A. Ziemba)

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