MAUSOLEUM

Some horror movies came to being solely to prove that true entertainment has NO RULES. Dig to the bottom of the ‘80s terrorbarrel, and beneath all the latex disfigurements and blood-soaked lingerie, you’ll find this sparkling gem of low-budget filth.

A woman (professional naked lady Bobbie Bresee) is infected with some of that no-good Satanic darkness upon visiting her mother’s grave, and she soon embarks on a logic-defying spree of telekinetic head-burstings, sexual mutilations and high-octane unholy transformations, including one memorable segment where her breasts become carnivorous goblin heads.

This inevitably leads to some stress in her relationship with her husband, played by notorious screen dud/former child evangelist Marjoe Gortner, as well as SANFORD & SON’s wisecracking LaWanda Page as the maid who won’t take shit from demons or anyone else.

Throw in one crazed gardener, Mephisto-spawned lazerlight and a brutal disregard for all rational motives or dialogue, and you’re in for the best sub-zero-intellect cinematic aneurysm of your life.