KICK OR DIE
|Starring||Kevin Bernhardt, Holaday Mason, Joe Stewardson|
18 and up; Children 6 and up will be allowed only with a parent guardian. No children under the age of 6 will be allowed.
If you are a connoisseur of kicking or dying, then you're in for the VIOLATION of a lifetime. Join VIDEO HATE SQUAD for a screening of the kicking-shitty-punk-rockers-off-their-motorbikes-until-they-die tour-de-force known as KICK OR DIE!
The back of the box for this Action International Pictures straight-to-video heavyweight states:
“A pair of fiercely competitive kickfighting champions are hired to protect the coeds at a sleepy college campus from a sadistic rapist who strikes under the cover of darkness. Complicating their assignment, is a beautiful young woman, who is torn between their vying affections. Both men want her...but so does the rapist!”
That's probably why this movie was originally titled NO HARD FEELINGS.
Directed by GILLIGAN'S ISLAND veteran Charles Norton, this South African production features a bevy of inexplicable (and inappropriate) pro-rape anthems by Jim Weatherly (“Midnight Train to Georgia”). It also stars Kevin Bernhardt, a black hole of charisma that sucks so hard that its presence collapses on itself and creates a sparkling universe of its own. But hold your horses! There’s plenty of kickfighting for the fellas! And also a romantic subplot about a pop singer played by the woefully mom-like Holaday Mason, who is on a “meteoric rise” to fame!
If you’re the kind of person who likes to be overwhelmed by their entertainment, then join us for a bounty of kickfighting, punks, amour, dancing, terrible music, and boom microphones. And even if you’re not, come anyway. Like the theme song says: “DON'T FIGHT IT!” (Max Meehan)