TROLL & TROLL 2

Cereal boxes. Warwick Davis movies. Internet viral videos. Why do leprechauns get all the love? This St. Patrick’s Day, take a break from your Lucky Charms and celebrate a few second- rung magical little creature — the troll and the goblin — with a double feature that will make you scream, “OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!”

In the 1986 John Carl Buechler-directed horror film TROLL, Noah Hathaway stars as Harry Potter, Jr. Seriously. A young glass-wearing boy must harness ancient magic to do battle against an evil troll named Torock. This troll doesn’t want you to comb its hair, though. He conspires to transform an apartment building into his new magical kingdom full of singing imps, dancing nymphs and giant hairy pickles. The film features an all-star cast of b-movie proportions including Sonny Bono, Anne Lockhart, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Moriarty. Aimed at children, the movie’s main goal seems to be permanently damaging the young psyches of kiddos everywhere. Whether its pop stars being transformed into magical exploding cocoons or singing fungus creatures, there are childhood traumas to be found in every nook and cranny of TROLL. We’ll screen TROLL from a 35mm print.

TROLL 2, the 1990 sequel that has absolutely nothing to do with TROLL, stars the great Michael Stephenson and George Hardy as two members of a loving family who have their world turned upside down when they decide to visit the town of Nilbog (It’s goblin spelled backwards!). Yes, it’s true. This is one of the worst movies ever made. This is a film that manages to be a special kind of awful. It’s a movie that’ll you’ll want to write home about. Your brain will be melted, your soul chipped away at. Watching this movie could very well make you sterile. How could you possibly stay away? (Robert Saucedo)