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DEATH SPA

Director Michael Fischa
Year 1989
Starring William Bumiller, Brenda Bakke, Merritt Butrick
Rating R
Run Time 88min
More Info IMDb

Michael owns the Star Body Health Spa. It’s a very futuristic place, because “the computer runs the spa.” Years earlier, Michael’s wheelchair-bound wife died in an inferno. Today, the spa is plagued by an unseen supernatural force, which causes graphic gore, full-frontal nudity, and leotards to erupt in flames. A guy’s face falls off while making out with a girl. Another guy gets ripped apart by a workout machine. A girl BLOWS UP while staring at a mirror. Questions arise. Why was Michael’s new girlfriend burned by the steam room, and why is she the only person who wears bandages for the entire film? Clearly, other people have sustained injuries that also require bandages. The detective asks, “How does a goddamn diving board just COME LOOSE?,” after a girl dies because of a faulty diving board. During a costume party at the spa, Michael is besieged with paranormal researchers and an in-law with a secret. A female detective says, “Aw, fuck this computer shit!” But you won't say that. Because DEATH SPA is the irrational, workout-themed NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET rip-off that you've been waiting your whole life to see. (Joseph A. Ziemba)

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