"Now I have a machine gun ... ho-ho-ho."
Is DIE HARD the coolest Christmas film ever? Yes. Without a doubt.
Bruce Willis stars as Detective John McClane, the man — nay, the god — that every single man on the planet secretly (or not-so-secretly) wishes they were more like. He's cool under pressure, always quick with a one-liner and — most importantly — extremely handy at dispatching terrorists no matter which Eastern European country they hale from.
John McClane is the pinnacle of modern humanity. In fact, he's the closest thing in real life (and John McClane is a real life cop who sometimes pretends to be an actor named Bruce Willis and anybody who tells me differently is going to get the butt of a machine gun to the nose) to Santa Claus — ascending down to earth every year from his icy castle in the sky to give good presents to all boys and girls — and by good presents I mean yearly Christmastime screenings of DIE HARD.
And this year's screening of DIE HARD is going to be one that you won't want to miss. We're ratcheting up the madness with cap guns, live explosions in the theater and more surprises than you could ever believe. This is the kind of action movie screening that you'll write long, eloquent entries in your diary about so that you can one day be able to share the memories with your grandchildren after the raw, unadulterated awesomeness of watching DIE HARD with live in-theater explosions has turned your brain to mush. It's OK, though. Your future mush-brains will be worth it.
And for those who have not yet seen DIE HARD, don't be ashamed. There's a time in everybody's life where they must cast off their childhood and first witness the majesty of John McClane crawling over broken glass whilst barefoot. It's as much a sign of you becoming an adult as growing hair in funny places and taking a sudden, inexplicable interest in coffee. Why not take this next step of your life at the Alamo Drafthouse with this incredible night of interactive cinema.
Tickets are now on sale for DIE HARD and you'll want to make sure you pick them up fast because when it comes to raw, in-your-face badassery like we have planned for these screenings, you're going to want to make sure you have a front-row seat. And I mean a proverbial front-row seat, of course. A real front-row seat will likely leave you with eyebrows that have been scorced off from the live flames we're going to have in the theater!