Austin News


Warm Beer = Death

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch ran a cautionary story on Monday, December 4. A woman who police chose not to identify reportedly shot her husband four to five times in the chest because he tried to give her a warm can of Stag beer.

This leads to a few points:

1. "Four to five times?" I can see some reason why the police wouldn't want to release the identities of these people, but why can't they count how many bullet holes the guy had in his chest?

2. They still make Stag beer? AWESOME. I've only ever seen Stag in the old commercials we've run at the theater before shows, where Mr. Magoo gets into all sorts of trouble because he's trying to enjoy a delicious (and presumably cold) Stag beer.

3. And finally, this is why we serve only the coldest beer in Austin at all of our locations. You thought it was just because the winter has been so unseasonably warm, but no. We actually take care to serve you only the coldest of frosty brews because we value our chests and don't want to have four to five bullet holes in them.

News Categories: Austin


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