"Oh my GAAAAAAAAWWWWD"!!!
The February 1st Terror Thursday free midnight screening of TROLL 2 just got rocketed into mega-incredibleness with the most blood-boiling news you've ever heard:
LIVE IN PERSON - MICHAEL STEPHENSON (Joshua Waits), George Hardy (Mr. Waits) and Darren Ewing (Arnold)!!! More cast members may be added!!!
We'll be serving GREEN MILK!! GREEN COOKIES!! HANDING OUT GOBLIN MASKS TO SELECT ATTENDEES!! CAUSING ACTUAL INSANITY!!
If you've somehow avoided ever seeing it (shame on you), here's the scoop:
Absolutely the most bone-shattering cinematic abomination ON EARTH!!! Allegedly made without the knowledge or consent of the preceding film's creators, TROLL 2 is a truly mind-altering holocaust of ineptitude and relentless flailing seizures of accidental brilliance!! Join young Joshua and his family on a dark journey into the heart of Nilbog, a mysterious township of cannibalistic vegetarians (??) who may or may not be hiding a more vicious supernatural secret. Okay. Yes. They are. A spastic witch is leading the populace and a bevy of shrimpy goblins on a crusade of magical misanthropic eradication, using chunky green milk as a weapon against mankind. Only Joshua and his invisible dead grandpa are aware of the danger, which the boy attempts to curb in one scene by urinating on the dinner table. Local sheriff Gene Freak isn't any help, as he's too busy offering the most bizarre drunk-uncle performance you'll ever see on screen. And he's not alone...literally every actor involved is a bizarre inhuman oddity, lending an already fascinatingly crippled film a whole new level of self-destructive force. Genius-disguised-as-an-idiot director Fragasso shamedly credited himself as "Drago Floyd", unaware of the masterpiece he'd created or the legions of fans who'd make it a legend. In fact, TROLL 2's sub-possible crud factor is so powerful that it reigned for years as IMDB's lousiest movie of all time, beating out staid gutterbombs like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE to take its rightful place as Supreme Emperor of Shit Mountain!!
This ain't hyperbole, pal...this movie will honestly change your life.
Tell everyone you know. Tell people you don't know. Go through the phone book and call every number. Get people to the Alamo Downtown on Thursday, Feb 1st at midnight.
This. Will. Be. LEGEND.