August 1-8, the Alamo is presenting a series of shark-related films that will get you out of the water and into a movie.
Every year, a certain nerdy TV channel stops airing clips of lions making love and boosts its ratings by devoting every moment of seven glorious days to nature's rudest fish. The shark is like the Superfly of the sea, and the species' amazing feats are as hypnotizing as they are horrifying. A couple of months ago we were talking about the sharkiest movies ever and we decided we should have our own Shark Week and to hell with everybody else.
On their Shark Week no one leaves the house. Everyone is glued to their sets, watching those damn teeth regenerate and those fins squirm. Well, not ours! We're going to have a little fun this year, in what promises to be the first annual Shark Week at the Alamo. Now you can leave the house, have a burger or pizza and a couple of beers, and enjoy the glory of the toughest creature in the ocean.
The whole extravaganza starts next weekend with three (sold out) Rolling Roadshow encore presentations of the big daddy of all shark-pictures, JAWS. Somewhere on the dark ...Lake Travis, we'll be watching Steven Spielberg's horrifying film while floating in inner-tubes, our legs dangling freely in the water for any predator to easily snap up... These shows sold out so fast that we're going to make this a regular recurring tradition.
Also on the lineup: 8/2 and 8/8: THE SHARK IS STILL WORKING, a great documentary about JAWS featuring star-studded interviews and some behind-the-scenes info you've only had nightmares about. Ain't It Cool News' own 'Quint' will introduce the 8/2 screening with producer James Michael Roddy in person.
8/3: Terror Tuesday: ZOMBIE, Lucio Fulci's classic undead thriller that features the Ultimate Shark VS. Zombie Death Match. An unofficial sequel to George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, but with a shark!
8/4: Master Pancake: DEEP BLUE SEA, LL Cool J don't stand a chance against our hilarious film-mockers. Oh, you've got sharks that can cure Alzheimer’s, oh ok...
8/4 Weird Wednesday: MAKO JAWS OF DEATH, a special Weird Wednesday presentation of one of the great shark exploitation films. A man is given a necklace with the power to befriend sharks, and he uses it for revenge against the shark's greatest enemies, fat men.
8/5: CABIN BOY Quote-Along, the greatest quote-along of all time, featuring Chris Elliott saying "These pipes are clean!"
8/8: Hecklevision: MEGA SHARK vs. GIANT OCTOPUS, a battle for the ages in the horrible, horrible movie. Text your taunts or get bit.
All shows at the Ritz except for the Floating Roadshow. Wake up and smell the sharks, Austin!