At the start of last night's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pizza party show Shredder showed up, and he was pissed. Casey Jones was on stage thanking everyone for coming out to the theater and reminding them that they could get all the pizza they wanted, and then in came Shredder, screaming about how the show could not go on. What was it he was so pissed about? False advertising.
Shredder hates this ad, too. Babies creep him out.
See, the TMNT pizza party was advertised as an all-you-can-eat affair. But many of the audience members were only having all they CARED to eat. So before the movie could start, Shredder made two people come up from the audience to compete in a pizza eating contest where they would each see how much pizza they could possibly cram into their mouths, stomachs, legs, and ears in a single minute.
And what's up with people who use a fork and knife with their pizza?
One of the contestants that came up was a boy who looked like he was maybe ten years old, and when he saw the pizza he wordlessly left the stage and just walked back up to his seat with his parents. Apparently a cheese pizza with eel and french fries and queso didn't sound like a good idea to him. Fortunately two twenty-something guys were up for the challenge. The best part? They each started CRYING while they were shoving things in their mouth. When asked about it later one of the contestants said it was because the queso was too hot, but I still think they were tears of joy at how beautiful that moment was.
At the 2006 Miss Annoying Cardboard Cut Out pageant, everyone was a winner. But that didn't make it any less special.
Tonight I'm going to try to approximate that beauty through the miracle of learning at the Schoolhouse Rock Sing-Along. Everyone gets a workbook at the door and we all have four assignments, one for each subject. You should come out to the show tonight, but if you can't make it I'll give you some highlights tomorrow. Then you'll see that you really need to come out to this Thursday's show...