It’s been said that Lifetime Original Movies are the equivalent of emotional chocolate for some women — full of juicy drama pulp with high levels of “Oh, no he didn’t.”
The truth is, though, these movies aren’t cinematic catnip for just the fairer sex. While Lifetime Television may be billed as TV for women, men like watching the network’s cheesy original movies just as much as women do. It’s a deep dark secret of our gender that we just don’t like to talk about.
It’s not our fault! We know we shouldn’t be watching the films — not when there’s NASCAR races or wrestling playing somewhere else over the airwaves. We just can’t help it, though. There’s something about the network’s shrill, overly-earnest films — full of Chicken Little fear mongering about everyday issues — that make it impossible for both men and women to change the channel when they come across a Lifetime original movie.
This addiction to emotional porn is why it’s so darn appropriate that we’re screening CYBER SEDUCTION: HIS SECRET LIFE this August. A 2005 Lifetime television movie starring Jeremy Sumpter, CYBER SEDUCTION features the “touching” story of a teenage boy who becomes addicted to online porn. What starts as a simple fascination with pixilated breasts soon takes a road that’s downright creepy as Justin, a popular 16-year-old high school kid, is drawn deep into the world of late night mouse clicking and tissue abuse.
We’ll be screening the film as part of our Hecklevision series — a monthly program where you, the audiences, are asked to mock the movie with your text messages. As the film plays, you text your jokes and we project your quips onto the big screen for all the rest of the audience to see. From catty remarks about Justin’s downward spiral of athlete to pocket pool player to nonsensical remarks about your own deep-rooted obsession with Internet porn, it’s up to you to entertain your fellow theatergoers.
Don’t hesitate; buy your tickets today. We all know it’s impossible to successfully battle addiction so why try and struggle with your craving for cheesy Lifetime original movies. It’s a fight you’re just going to lose.